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(A truly happy candid my mom caught of me at the Food and Wine Festival yesterday 😊)
Today I woke up early and went to breakfast with my mom before dropping her off at the airport. We spent the whole morning recalling all the food we tried yesterday, laughing, and joking about my ability to always order more food than I could ever eat. At many points over the past year, I couldn’t imagine getting back to a place where simple happinesses like this were the norm, but here we are. And dear God, I am so grateful. Someone at work today mentioned that everyone has their demons, and if a person says they have none, they are lying. This past year has been my demon, despite it also being filled with some of the greatest moments of my life. It feels really great to now be able to look back and first think about the incredible things like Luxembourg or my debut day at Disney or graduation, rather than the negative parts. Today is my New Year’s Day when the events of the past year officially become ingrained lessons rather than open wounds. Because even though I fell down, and fell hard, I got back up, and that’s worth celebrating in my own special way. On this anniversary, I want to remind everyone else that it’s okay to have to spend time and energy fighting your demons. There is no playbook about how to move forward or how long it should take or how to find your way back to the person you want to be. But you will get there, even if it’s not easy. And the people that build you up instead of pushing you down are the ones worth keeping around. Because what doesn’t kill you, surely makes you stronger. So get back up. Because you deserve the whole world. And you are NOT defined by your demons. But you can learn and grow from them. This post isn’t about broadcasting exactly what I went through, and frankly I don’t want you to ask because today is about moving forward. This post is instead about acknowledging this tough year in order to let it go and ensure that other people know that they can do the same. This afternoon my mom reminded me of some lyrics she thought would give me extra strength today: “Though I dreamed of this day long ago, now my answer is thank you but no. Look I’ve barely begun, I’m hardly through. I was living in ignorant bliss ‘till I learned I could be more than this. And in a way I owe it all to you. I thought losing your love was a blow I could never withstand, but look how far I have come without anyone holding my hand.” Get back up. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you.