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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of perspective: how one story could look completely different depending on who narrates it.
In our lives, we tend to always think of ourselves as the hero of our own stories. When something goes wrong, it’s easier to blame others rather than come to terms with the hero actually being at fault. A hero who yells at a supporting character when the supporting character wasn’t in the wrong: nobody likes that guy. It’s not very heroic.
Imagine that same scenario from the perspective of the supporting character.
Actually the show “Jane the Virgin” touches on this. The main character is an author who in one episode is struggling with writers’ block. Her mentor suggests writing the same story she has written before but from the perspective of a supporting character, in this case, the scorned ex-lover of the main love interest.
Now that’s an interesting perspective.
I recently was in a situation where I felt uncomfortable and made the choice to report what made me uncomfortable. Now I will be the first to admit that I was in the wrong at the beginning of this situation, but like someone much smarter than I once said, “two wrongs don’t make a right.”
Anyway, this situation allowed me to reflect on the topic of perspective. From my point of view, what I said was only a small thing that could have been brushed off. However, I have no way of knowing whether or not what I said struck a nerve that I didn’t know existed, whether the other person was dealing with something I didn’t know about, whether my comment was just the last straw, or so on.
From the other person’s perspective, I might have really messed up, and as the hero of my own story, I think it’s really important that I’m aware of that possibility and address the situation accordingly.
As some of you know, I surprised my family by coming home for Thanksgiving. It was amazing and wonderful, but I actually wanted to talk about the movie I saw when I was home.
“A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” tells the story of a journalist sent to interview Mr. Rogers.
Yes. That Mr. Rogers.
This journalist was highly skeptical that Mr. Rogers could be that good in reality as well as on television.
Anyway, when visiting Mr. Rogers, he tries to push him to the point of letting down his façade by mentioning how the Rogers’ children must have struggled with having such a famously kind-hearted, perfect parent.
Mr. Rogers doesn’t let down his façade, because it in fact wasn’t one.
Instead, Mr. Rogers thanks the man for sharing that previously unexplored perspective and admits that it probably was very hard for his children.
So here’s my question for you:
As the hero of my own story, if I ever fail to look at things from all sides and blindly believe myself to be in the right, won’t you be my perspective?
As for now, I’m good on neighbors, but I could always use a new perspective.